Ah, Vegas…the City of Dreams. For some, it’s also a place of nightmares. There’s nothing more crushing than packing your goals into a suitcase, hopping aboard that proverbial train to your future, then having it derail. I know, because that’s what happened to me. I came to Sin City from Alabama over a decade ago and threw myself right into the audition process. The economy was on the rebound, people were returning to the hotels and it seemed like a new show opened every other week. Perfect for a talented young hunk like me, right? Well, not so fast.
I may have come from the sticks, but mamma didn’t raise no dummy. I knew how to play the game and could see right through the tricks, manipulation, and dishonest methods that showbiz people use to get the most from their performers. As we continued to struggle, pick up second jobs and live together in cramped apartments, they were putting the maximum amount of moolah into their fanny packs. The rich got richer, the hungry got hungrier.
ALL THAT JAZZ (20th Century Fox)
Now that we’re coming out of yet another tourism crash, the games have begun again. This time, I’m not willing to play them. While my fellow entertainers were doing whatever they could during the COVID shutdown to make ends meet (whether that involved hosting online yoga classes or making porn for OnlyFans), I gave a go at delivering packages. It got me out of the house, kept me fit, and allowed me to see Las Vegas from the streets instead of from the center of a stage. And at this point, I ain’t going back.
In case you’re wondering, that good-looking guy in the avatar isn’t actually my face…it belongs to a friend who works with me on the delivery routes. Don’t ask my colleagues who I really am. They won’t tell you and might even give ya a good wallop. We “brown shirts” stick together, you see. I plan on keeping my true identity a secret because there are a lot of trashy tales to tell. Not just mine…I’ll be sharing the stories of others who need to remain anonymous, too.
FORREST GUMP (Paramount Pictures)
If you’re one of those skeevy producers who bleeds your talent dry…I’m coming for you. Are you some backstage diva who made the rest of us miserable with your bullshit? You’re on my radar, honey. What about those business owners who lie, cheat, and steal from their workers? Look out, f*ckers. You’ll wish you hadn’t. If you’ve got a story to share, email me at email@example.com.
Vegas is back in business, but the scars haven’t healed. Gunnar McDixie: Vegas Justice is about to rip off a few Band-Aids. Run, Forrest….run!