Binion’s Rooftop Pool
Swimming atop a 25-story tower should be a blast, right? Well, it’s no fun looking down on everyone else when they’re having a better time than you are. Staffed by surly employees with bad attitudes, the stark, scorching deck at Binion’s rooftop pool is equipped with very basic chaise lounges, surrounded by glass barriers that magnify sunlight to make it unbearably hot. The tower’s famous digital thermometer will remind you that you’re closer to Hell than Heaven. It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to read it, though, thanks to sun blindness.
To access this big bathtub of blahs, guests must ride a creaky elevator located deep inside Binion’s smokey casino. It’s actually unclear who the intended guests are, as the hotel’s tower has been shuttered for over a decade. Those staying at adjacent Apache Haunted Hotel and nearby Four Queens are granted the privilege to come here, but it’s hardly worth the effort. There are no amenities to speak of, no bar service, and no dining available. Despite the excellent view, Binion’s rooftop pool is barren, depressing, and a major letdown.
California Hotel (Downtown)
Boyd Gaming operates three downtown hotel-casinos that primarily cater to Hawaiian guests: Main Street Station, Fremont Hotel, and California. But when you live on those glorious islands, would you want to swim in this 20 x 40 water pit during your Vegas vacation? Unlikely.
Boring, hard to find, and also with no amenities to speak of, California‘s pool is only open to guests of the three hotels. But who would want to sneak in? Perpetually in the shadow of CIRCA Hotel (Vegas Club’s tower before that), this tiny excuse for a cement pond is always cold. Even in the blazing desert heat, you are unlikely to last more than one minute.
The deck recently got a bit of a facelift, with some brighter furniture and a few appealing accents. But knowing that CIRCA’s ‘Stadium Swim” is just on the other side of the wall makes it pointless to opt for this boring little puddle. The only reason it seems to exist is so that Boyd can say “We have a downtown pool”. Hard pass…
VooDoo Beach at Rio
Going by the photos, you might find it surprising that Rio’s expansive VooDoo Pool complex shows up on this list. But pictures only tell one part of the story. And when it comes to Rio Las Vegas, it’s a sad tale indeed.
Once upon a time, the RIO was a hip destination boasting a popular rooftop nightclub, great productions, a party atmosphere, and the legendary Mardi Gras Show In The Sky. Then Caesars Entertainment took ownership and started chipping away at everything that made this off-Strip resort such a hit.
Recently sold to be rebranded as a Hyatt, the blue and red towers are faded, under-maintained and barely hanging on. Nobody seems to have told the operators of VooDoo Pool, who still charge exorbitant prices for food, drinks, and cabana use. Now appealing to tourists on a super-tight budget, the hotel’s pool is crawling with screeching rugrats who battle it out with low-end deejays for who can be the loudest.
If you’re looking to relax, it’s best to remain in your worn-out Rio guestroom. A really depressing fall from grace.
The D Hotel
If splashing around to the sounds of city traffic and the glorious smell of bus exhaust is your idea of nirvana, welcome to The D, According to their website, “The D Las Vegas Hotel offers a place to unwind and rooms that provide an escape from all the noise of the city.” Oddly, you can barely find a mention of their roadside swimming hole among the bar, restaurant, casino, and room descriptions.
Part of a collection of downtown hotels that includes Golden Gate and CIRCA, The D pool offers no food or beverage service. There is a distinct lack of atmospheric music as well. Once again, this oversized cup of chlorinated tea exists just so the hotel can claim it as an amenity. Yet they seem ashamed to do so.
Casino Royale
Most people are familiar with Casino Royale, the brightly colored dump known for its cheap drinks, Nathan’s hot dogs, and White Castle blow-out burgers. The last dive bar-style hotel-casino remaining on the Strip, it’s directly across from Mirage and sandwiched between Harrah’s and Venetian.
Casino Royale cleverly hides a Best Western Plus within its bowels, not that you’d ever pay their going rate to stay there. With rooms starting at $295.99 (but no resort fee!), this little wannabe resort caters to those who’ve stockpiled Best Western points at other locations. Like every hotel in the BW family, it has basics like beds, toilets, showers…and an ugly-ass pool.
Dwarfed by the magnificence of its neighbors, Casino Royale delivers its guests a constant reminder of their poor life choices. This pool may be the most tragic excuse for a swimming hole to ever exist on Las Vegas Boulevard. And that includes Circus Circus.
