HOTEL GALAXY
When someone says “roach motel”, the Hotel Galaxy on Dean Martin Drive immediately comes to mind. This nasty little collection of buildings has foul critters all over the place…and not just the six-legged variety.
Yours truly checked into the Hotel Galaxy (against my better judgment) a few years back when a major boxing event had driven hotel rates through the roof. I knew something was up when the front desk required my signature to receive a TV remote. Things got worse when I reached my assigned room. The front door showed multiple signs of forced entry, with slipshod repairs to poorly hide the crimes. Yikes.
When said door was opened, creepy crawlies scattered to the four corners…except for ones that were already dead on the filthy carpeting. Needless to say, I hightailed it right back to the office with that damned remote and ate the cost in favor of a clean, spacious room at Silver Sevens Casino (Paradise Road at Flamingo).
It’s been a few years since my personal experience, but HOTEL GALAXY (which, mind you, isn’t a hotel at all) still maintains its generous 1.5-star rating. Here’s an actual Yelp review from 7/4/21: “f I could give this place 0 stars, I absolutely would. I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that there were nasty stains all over the sheets, the fact that the A/C was broken and stuck on one temperature, the fact that there was literal shit smeared on the walls in the bathroom, the fact that there were cigarette burns on the blanket, the fact that despite the room being a “non-smoking” room, it REEKED of nicotine the moment we stepped into the room or the fact that they made us pay over $250 a NIGHT and tried to charge us an extra $30 to stay until noon. This all doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of how nasty and dirty this place was. It should be shut down and considered a public safety hazard.”
Welcome to Hotel Galaxy
DOWNTOWNER HOTEL
The website for The Downtowner would have you believe that it’s a delightfully-restored art-deco throwback to Sin City’s golden era. In actuality, it’s the carcass of an exhumed corpse that’s been given a fresh coat of paint, some whimsical decorations, and a putting green (for some inexplicable reason).
Across from the main building (formerly a low-rent apartment building) is an annex that resembles a detention center for wayward teens. Both structures are supplied with spartan furnishings that even an IKEA staffer would call “cheap”. A depressing tone is set the moment you arrive at their reservation desk, which resembles an inner-city STD clinic. But don’t be concerned if your spirits need a lift, as the lobby doubles as a bar. So, you can be adequately cross-eyed before entering your personal slice of off-Fremont paradise. Some rooms have the added bonus of bullet holes in the walls.
When a hotel or motel devotes more web space to surrounding businesses than their own rooms and services, consider that a warning sign. There may be plenty to do in downtown Las Vegas, but staying at The Downtowner should NOT be one of those things. You can check in, but you’ll want to check out…immediately. Run, Forrest….run!!! (Bonus demerit – $20/day “amenity fee”)
Yelp review 7/9/21: “They have no running AC which made it unbearable in the summer heat. Their fans were very loud so it was very difficult to sleep at night. Their housekeeping never cleaned our room during our lengthy stay. Avoid if you want a comfortable and professional stay.”
Guest photo – wall hole plugged with toilet paper…
THUNDERBIRD BOUTIQUE HOTEL
Billed as “the cool hotel for cool people”, Thunderbird Boutique Hotel takes its promotional cues from The Downtowner. Just like that other dirty bird, Thunderbird brags of being “retro-chic”. I suppose that’s an honest assessment if your idea of the good old days is The Great Depression or turning tricks for a Hershey bar during WW2.
In fairness, Thunderbird Hotel has lots of great things going for it: an eye-catching Strip facade, free parking, easy access to hookers/blow/wedding chapels/bail bondsmen…and a pool that’s filled with real water. Your room rate and $17/day amenities fee include such bonuses as broken lamps, torn sheets, horrifying wall stains, and human body hair around the bathroom sink.
Although it currently holds a 2.5-star ranking on Yelp, this actual Thunderbird guest seemed to have a different opinion: “Don’t come here. The beds are hard and uncomfortable. The entire place is scummy! The towels and floors are filthy, beware of roaming and dead cockroaches. I found 2 one dead and one alive. This place is an embarrassment to the owners. I get it you guys want to cut corners but there is no excuse for cleanliness. There was stains on the white bedding and short curly hairs everywhere. They weren’t mine! The only decent thing they have there is security, which is a must for the area it’s in. This place looks nothing like the pictures that’s for sure.”
Emergency exits are clearly marked at Thunderbird Hotel
CITY CENTER MOTEL
Once upon a time, Aria, Vdara, Veer Towers, Waldorf Astoria, and Crystals were collectively known as “City Center”. The branding of that multi-billion-dollar complex has been largely retired, but the name lives on at City Center Motel.
The operators of this former Super 8 on Fremont Street cleverly capitalized on the City Center name more than a decade ago, no doubt hoping that at least a few would be fooled. Now the only fools are those who make a return visit.
If “location location location” is your criteria, then being across from Downtown Container Park should cause delight. I have to admit that the persons manning the reservation desk were quite congenial and friendly. But if comfort, cleanliness, and glamour are what you seek, you’d better take a LYFT to Circa on the other end of the street.
The fondest memory of my stay occurred when walking across the parking lot, key in hand. To my left, another guest was posing for a selfie in front of the dumpster (why?), unaware that a bum was crawling into said dumpster from the other side. Talk about a photo-bomb!
City Center Motel currently holds two stars out of a possible five on TripAdvisor. Former guest/survivor Allisonj7 posted this memorable review: “They sold us a weird room around the corner of the building (not even within the property and it didn’t even have a room number!) I swear it was a former broom/janitor closet that they tried to fashion into a room. Everything was really run down and there was a window the size of a sheet of paper that faced the back alley.”
Every successful business starts with a good foundation.
DAYS INN WILD WILD WEST
Our fifth and final fleabag seems to keep adding length to its official name, which currently stands as DAYS INN by Wyndham Las Vegas Wild Wild West Gambling Hall. The title is as meandering as the layout of this place, which shoots off in all directions and actually faces three separate roads.
Just over the troll bridge from Excalibur on the opposite side of I-95, Wild Wild West caters mostly to long-haul truckers who park their rigs in a massive adjacent lot. Coincidentally (wink-wink), the area is also frequented by a parade of streetwalkers who seem to have an affection for the motel’s barely-there country theme and always-open Denny’s.
Wild Wild West also houses a dirty little casino that’s perpetually filled with smoke, all the better to hide the carpet stains. Homeless people are known to sleep in the walkways and under the stairs, and police are frequently on the property to break up fights and respond to other crimes.
The rooms themselves are very “Days Inn” basic and some are actually in decent shape. But when you combine the nightly rate with a mandatory $22.67 resort fee and compare that to the negatives, you’re much better off just staying up the road at The Orleans.
Although Yelp assigns Wild Wild West a 2.5 star (average) rating, horrified Ikey M. from Phoenix had this to say: “Bed bugs, crabs, meth heads, crackheads, rigged gaming. Drug rings. Diseases. Don’t do it. SHUT IT DOWN”.
Do you have any helpful advice for Vegas bargain-hunters? A hotel nightmare that you’d like to get off your chest? Leave a comment or send us an email. We’d love to hear from you.
Don’t look up. Just don’t…
